1969 – 1994
It seemed to me that Aunt Cely always made good choices. They may have been impetuous or even ill-advised, but her choices always reflected her integrity and her commitment to causes larger than herself, including her large, extended family. So when I have to make a choice, I often ask myself, What Would Cely Do? WWCD?
*When you notice someone feeling a bit tentative or uncertain?*
You pull them in closer and reassure them. Here’s one of my earliest memories of Aunt Cely: we were all in Mexico and about to embark on a horseback riding adventure. At four-five years old, I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to be on a horse, but Aunt Cely invited me up to sit with her in the same saddle. I felt safe and welcomed and happy.
*When you have four very active and creative children?*
You make meaning and music with them. I remember being so impressed by the level of activity at the house in McLean, which I only visited once as a twelve-year-old. There was a trampoline, skate board ramps, a drum set, several libraries (if memory serves), tennis courts and a pool, never mind acres of woods. There was also a grand piano, which I think was chiefly Aunt Cely’s pleasure. I also remember, over the years, extraordinarily high levels of conversation. As a mother, aunt, neighbor, and citizen of the world, Aunt Cely set a standard for inquiry and debate and laughter that was second-to-none.
*When a hungry crowd shows up at your door?*
You welcome them warmly with a delicious array of foods — that you’ve prepared yourself, with joy.
*When you get invited to the Oscars?*
You trust your own style. You don’t turn to a stylist, you go shopping in your closet, and put together something that no one else has seen before and wow everyone with your impeccable elegance.
*When all your research shows you the world is warming dangerously?*
You speak to as many people as will listen with facts and passion long before “global warming” becomes a household phrase. You don’t give up. You canvas for candidates who will vote to protect the environment. You walk the walk: you recycle cards and furniture and clothes, living as simply as you can.
*When you hear negativity or fatalism?*
You think of a positive counter-example and relay it gently. In one of the last times we spoke, Aunt Cely asked me about my new dog. I said he’s a bit of a jock, not terribly interested in cuddling or being petted. She said, “Sarah.” There was an emphasis on my name — listen up it said. “I just read an amazing account of a man and his relationship with his guide dog.” I don’t remember much more, but what I took away is that we are in a relationship with our pets, which means we have some responsibility for the quality of the relationship. So I worked to show my dog that I value his affection, not just his ball chasing skills. And you know what, today he is significantly more patient and affectionate!
Aunt Cely, you are loved and missed.